Friday, 07 November 2008

• And the Darkness begins...

  I believe I'm quite sensitive to the light.  And when I mean sensitive, I mean that I notice when the sun hasn't been out.  It has been three days now that the sun hasn't been out.  And currrently it's snowing.  I like the snow but I like the sun better.

  I've begun a process of taking Vitamin D, especially since the sun isn't out. I feel like a vitamin freak and that my husband has 'rubbed' off on me! tehehe  He takes a bunch of different vitamins. I supposed I chose Vitamin D to see if it will help my mild depression in the winter time.  I remember we had 13 days without sun 3 winters ago.  It seemed like Hell.  It reminded me of Silent Hill...where everything is just ashy all the time. I know I never could live in Alaska or Antartica- the darkness might just give me a psychotic break!

  I also had a very vivid dream last night...again...they seem to be coming every night.  I must be stressed...they always become more vivid the more stressed I am.  Last night was weird in lots of ways though.  I'll give you the dream as best as I can.

  It starts out that I'm with a bunch of people I know very well.  We are currently at a camp place, yet it must be a January day because it feels like the winter in January. There are trees through out the camp ground, yet there aren't really trails or paths between the buildings. The other weird thing is that the trees still have all their leaves yet they are brown- they didn't fall off- weird? Even with lots of snow resting on them?  Every building is log built with black roofing. We are walking outside to go the the bathroom (which is a separeate huge building).  I walk in and there are 10 stalls and three sinks.  The cold doesn't feel so bitter that morning (it's morning based on the sun rising). The bathroom is a nice one. It is tiled and the sink looks like marble. I wait for my friends to get done with their thing.  I didn't really need to go but thought I would join them.

  My dream then jumps to me dreaming.  I am walking with my friends just like I had the day before. As I wait for them I decide to look outside.  Near the bathroom there is a hill where you can't see behind it, yet there seems to be no trees.  It looks like a farming hill, yet there aren't any fences up to divide the property.  Another group that had come to the bathroom building before us were heading back to the dining building. Some of them decide to go check out what's behind the hill. As soon as they get to the top they start screaming blood-curtling screams. As they book for the cabin area with food I see two huge wolves running after them.  The this lumber-jack man seems to be coming from behind the bathroom building with a huge german sheperd.  The dog starts running after them and the wolves begin to turn away and run over the hill. As the lumberjack man returns to the dining area I know I'm extremely anxious and wanting to run to the dining area myself.  I know I'm in quite shock that I can't even tell my friends that this happened. I must have been a pretty zoned out person because no one noticed any difference. We started heading back to the dining area and the wolves return.  I can hear the screams again and I start to book it to the building.  Only 2 out of 12 of us make it.  They lay me down in a bed and cover me.

  I wake up from my dream in my dream. We head to the bathing building just as my dream as predicted. I watch outside now because I'm freaked. I look outside and seen the rays of sun shining through the trees and realize how beautiful it is, yet how deceiving it is. Unlike my dream, both groups leave at the same time. I can hear the wolves now. I start shoving everyone back in the bathroom- everyone that will allow me.  I'm sure I looked crazy and sounded crazy. I lock the door and it's only a few seconds later that we hear the wolves attack the people who refused my attempts to rescue them. Everyone is sitting on the floor of the bathroom. I can feel everyone's eyes on me. I have my head down with my eyes almost closed. Finally a man speaks up and says, "How did you know?".  I explain the dream to them.  Everyone seems to have different expressions on their faces.  I can't even bare to look at them now. I just keep my head down- trying to gather warm. I soon realize that my friend LeeAnn is sitting next to me. She starts to speak of my gift of prophesy and how grateful we should be of that gift. Then she goes on to say something about how I will have a part in the judgement of people. I can't even bare to hear those words. I'm confused by them as well. It seems the wolves are gone so we start heading for the dining area, obviously running. It seems nobody is aware of what happened.  They all have smiles and glee! And none of us can say a single word of the incident...we are too traumatized....

  Then I wake up from dreaming.  Each of my dreams have had this intensity and awareness. It was weird that I dreamt about snow and then woke up to it. It was also weird to have a dream about prophesy.  I've been told I have that gift...so to have one so explicit was...I don't even have words for it....

  But I better get these projects done so I can get this stress relieved! I have to do a conceptualization, a group proposal, work on my casestudy project, and some lit reviews....whoa...lots..hopefully after getting bunches done I will sleep less vividly

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